"Without vision the people will perish." (Proverbs 29:18a) We can connect a lot of realities to this verse, it can be physical, it can be corporate or even non-profit. Without a vision the company or non-profit will no longer exist. But how does it apply to marriages?
When we look deeper into the word perish, it actually means "exposed, naked, uncovered," you could also say it means vulnerable, unprotected or directionless. With that deeper understanding, look at the impact of this verse, "without vision my marriage will perish." Without vision my marriage will be exposed, unprotected, directionless.
Which begs the next question, what is the vision of your marriage? Do you have one? Do you have a destination to your steps in marriage and if you do, how will you know when you get there?
I think all of us can have good intentions when it comes to our marriage. I think all of us want to have a healthy life giving marriage. But intentions don't get you anything. Andy Stanley says, "direction, not intention, determines destination." It is the direction of your marriage that will determine the destination.
Which leads to the other reality, if we don't have a concrete vision for our marriage, other things will take its place. Instead of focusing on the direction of a vision-filled marriage, we begin to focus on the past. Either the good ol' days or the past hurts. It's like driving to a destination, but only using your rearview mirror to get there. Looking at where you came from versus where you are going.
Or we focus on circumstances, instead of our future vision. Circumstances come in all kinds of forms and distractions; kids, budget, work, church, working out, grocery shopping, chores, and the list goes on. Don't get me wrong, those things are realities of every day. But if we don't have a future vision, we will be more focused on putting out fires than the growth of your marriage.
So what is the vision of your marriage? God says in Jeremiah that "he has a hope and a future for those who call upon him." And Solomon says in Proverbs that "he will make our paths straight for those who trust in him and not our own understanding." The results of your marriage is exactly what you put into it. If you put into it life giving elements, you will have a healthy life giving relationship. If you focus on other things, like your past and everyday circumstances, you will have a shallow, directionless marriage.
A vision doesn't have to be much; it can be a word, or a statement or a series of words. For my wife Theresa and I, over the past few years we have worked on putting a vision together for our marriage/family. We chose four words- adventure, safe, grace, creativity. We wanted to have a relationship of adventure, where we took risks, had fun, and did what we could to live outside of the box. In the same breath we wanted to have a marriage that was safe. When I say safe, I mean vulnerable, an openness to share from the heart. We also want to have our children be in safe environments for growth and becoming who God created them to be. Grace should sound simple, but in families, sometimes they are the last people we are gracious with. We need to be open to second chances and undeserved favor. Finally creativity, allows us to be who we want to be, as individuals, but also have fun from art to going grocery shopping.
Take time this week to draft a vision with your spouse. Take time to think through the direction of your marriage, because I believe it will give you the opportunity to live life anew with your spouse.
When we look deeper into the word perish, it actually means "exposed, naked, uncovered," you could also say it means vulnerable, unprotected or directionless. With that deeper understanding, look at the impact of this verse, "without vision my marriage will perish." Without vision my marriage will be exposed, unprotected, directionless.
Which begs the next question, what is the vision of your marriage? Do you have one? Do you have a destination to your steps in marriage and if you do, how will you know when you get there?
I think all of us can have good intentions when it comes to our marriage. I think all of us want to have a healthy life giving marriage. But intentions don't get you anything. Andy Stanley says, "direction, not intention, determines destination." It is the direction of your marriage that will determine the destination.
Which leads to the other reality, if we don't have a concrete vision for our marriage, other things will take its place. Instead of focusing on the direction of a vision-filled marriage, we begin to focus on the past. Either the good ol' days or the past hurts. It's like driving to a destination, but only using your rearview mirror to get there. Looking at where you came from versus where you are going.
Or we focus on circumstances, instead of our future vision. Circumstances come in all kinds of forms and distractions; kids, budget, work, church, working out, grocery shopping, chores, and the list goes on. Don't get me wrong, those things are realities of every day. But if we don't have a future vision, we will be more focused on putting out fires than the growth of your marriage.
So what is the vision of your marriage? God says in Jeremiah that "he has a hope and a future for those who call upon him." And Solomon says in Proverbs that "he will make our paths straight for those who trust in him and not our own understanding." The results of your marriage is exactly what you put into it. If you put into it life giving elements, you will have a healthy life giving relationship. If you focus on other things, like your past and everyday circumstances, you will have a shallow, directionless marriage.
A vision doesn't have to be much; it can be a word, or a statement or a series of words. For my wife Theresa and I, over the past few years we have worked on putting a vision together for our marriage/family. We chose four words- adventure, safe, grace, creativity. We wanted to have a relationship of adventure, where we took risks, had fun, and did what we could to live outside of the box. In the same breath we wanted to have a marriage that was safe. When I say safe, I mean vulnerable, an openness to share from the heart. We also want to have our children be in safe environments for growth and becoming who God created them to be. Grace should sound simple, but in families, sometimes they are the last people we are gracious with. We need to be open to second chances and undeserved favor. Finally creativity, allows us to be who we want to be, as individuals, but also have fun from art to going grocery shopping.
Take time this week to draft a vision with your spouse. Take time to think through the direction of your marriage, because I believe it will give you the opportunity to live life anew with your spouse.
2 comments:
what a great idea! I'm all over this. Thanks for sharing your process bro!
That's awesome, would love to hear what you guys come up with.
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